"How do all of you manage to slack, but keep your jobs? The answer, to me, is quite elusive. I seriously need a job like the ones you guys have."
"I am honored to have been nominated for Admin. A surprise to be sure, but a welcome one."
"Best moments of the slackers vs. dynamite debate....
"Real quick: I always have a notepad with a list of things I have to
do at work (real thing, actually work related). Well, today is slow, so my list is empty. But in the last fifteen minutes,
I've created a new list. I will now share to exemplify what it means to be a true slacker:
"I just wanted to take a moment and get serious
and reflect on what we have here in the SWMCMMJ thread. We are several thousand posts strong by now and
through it all a lot of friendships have been made despite the fact that we are all just digital characters
having fun in the land of Star Wars fans. It is a pretty cool thing we have going here. It always gives me
something to look forward to and to laugh about throughout my busy workday. I justwant to say thanks to
Creepio and all of my slacker brothers and sisters and I guess a thanks to the big GL for starting it
all back in 77."
"Don't just do somthing, sit there. Cultivate aimlessness
as an occasional and useful state of mind. Develop the attitude of 'letting be' for those times when
there is simply nothing to be urgently done."
"-Vader was seduced by the Dark Side of the Slack.
-The Slack? -Well the Slack is what gives a slacker his slack. It's a slacking field, slacked by all living
slack. It slacks us and slacks us and binds our slack to slack."
"I think this week will be slow at work, thus, I will be a bigger slacker than you can possibly imagine.
Creepio sits at work, shuffling papers across his desk. "This place gives me the creeps...Still, there's something familiar about this place. I feel like..."
"Feel like what?"
"Like I'm being watched."
"Away put your letter opener, I mean you no harm. I am wondering, why are you here?"
"I'm working on something."
"Working? Slacking you are I would say, hmmm?"
Creepio smiles, maybe this new employee isn't so dumb. "Right."
"Help you I can, yes, mmm?"
"I don't think so. I'm looking for a great way to get out of doing these credit reports."
"Oh. Great way to get out of doing credit reports? Credit reports not make interesting work for him."
The little employee moves closer to Creepio's desk and takes a bit of his donut.
"Hey! That's my breakfast!" But the employee coughs and chokes and spits the donut to the floor.
"How you not so fat eating food of this kind?"
"Look, I didn't mean to land this crummy job and if I could get a better job I would, but I can't so you just..."
"Oh, cannot get a better job?" Creepio looks to see the new employee is rummaging through his desk.
"Hey!" Creepio grabs his Obi-Wan Kenobi action figure from the hands of the new guy. "Hey, you could have broken this!"
The employee begins tossing Creepio's Star Wars toys all over the office. "Don't do that. You're making a mess."
The new guy finds Creepio's Darth Vader bank and starts laughing as he flips from Anakin to Vader, Anakin to Vader.
"Give me that!" Creepio reached for the bank but the new guy holds it out of reach. "Mine! Or I will help you not!"
"I don't want your help, I want my bank back, I'm going to need it to get food in the lounge of this slimy mudhole of a job."
"Mudhole? Slimy? My career this is!"
But Creepio's fellow long time coworker has been watching and secretly grabs the Vader bank from the new guy. A horrific tug of war begins and finally ends when Creepio lets the new guy have his bank.
"Would you move along, new guy, I've got a lot of work not to do."
"No, no, no. Stay and help you I will. Hmm? Find ways to procrastinate."
"I'm not looking for a way to procrastinate, I'm looking for a way to make myself look busy."
"Oh! Look busy? Solitare, you seek solitare!"
Creepio is stunned. "You know it?"
"Show you how to play it, I will. Yes, yes. But now, let's get coffee. Hehe! Good drink, yes!"
"This is C Creepio, I'm going in."
Creepio pulls himself into an insanely sharp nose dive and rockets into his desk. The coast is clear as he begins the "desk run". Suddenly, a coworker tranmits a message via telephone. "I've picked up a new signal. Work, coming your way."
"I see them. Three spreadsheets due at 2:10."
Creepio continues the desk run, concentrating on his target, desperate to elude the pursuit of oncoming work. An email from his boss deflects off his computer! "That hit's not bad, delete button- see what you can do with it!"
The work is closing in behind him, rapidly gaining ground. "Get clear, gundark, you can't do any good back there!" Creepio is nervous, the tension mounts, his hands are shaking, sweat beads on his forehead.
"His calculator's off. Creepio, you switched off your calculator, what's wrong?"
Grabbing his mouse and loggin onto the internet, Creepio responds, "Nothing. I'm all right."
"I've lost my Interenet connection."
Creepio looks over his shoulder, the work is right there!!! He must log on!
The work speaks! "I have you now!"
Just then, Creepio hears a "Yee-haw!" He looks to his computer and sees- the familiar name JediSoul has returned!!!! Her presence wipes the work off his desk, knocks the spreadsheets into the trash and gives Creepio the room he needs to maneuver.
"You're all clear, Creepio," JediSoul says. "Now blow off your work and go home!"
Creepio reaches to his file cabinet and dumps the entire contents into the garbage. He hits the 'post response' button and begins a day of slacking!
"Great shot, kid, that was one in a million!"
Creepio settles at his desk- that warm felling of peace washing over him again as he hears those immortal words.
"The Slack will be with you. Always."
This website is the work (or rather, the slack) of dapper_bloke - copyright 1999