Best New Slacker Techniques: Lord of Garlic

Most Enthusiastic Slacker: gundark, my loyal apprentice

Best Post: Jedi Soul's dual pictures. For guys and gals

Best New Slacker Technique: Not really a technique, more of a slacker insight goes to Hacienda51 for her quote, "True slackers never act fast." How true, how true.

Most Enthusiastic Slacker: Three way tie Sandfarmer, Obi Two, THX1204

Best New Slacking Techniques: Haciedna51's SW scenes with smiley's. Intrigue007's "Why do work on Tuesday's" post (page 3). Vrian Sinth's Tips on slacking (page 4).

Most Enthuisiastic Slackers: Hacienda51 for the group story (I loved it!) & Obi Two & Darth Tater for bein' here.

Best Post: Who can deny the anticipation of Jedi Soul's first Episode II commercial??

The people at work are giving me more "slacker opportunity" than expected. Hence, this week's slacker awards will come out early. But first, I was on the webpage and noticed dapper_bloke was listed under the new promotions, yet he did not have a rank. I apologize for that and award our website guru the rank of "The Will of the Slack." ((that almost made me cry...!!! - d_b))

Most Enthusiastic Slackers: Sandfarmer (for not getting banned!) and RedHot5 (indeed your slack has grown powerful)

Best New Slacking Technique: Vrian Sinth, "Don't just do somthing, sit there. Cultivate aimlessness as an occasional and useful state of mind. Develop the attitude of 'letting be' for those times when there is simply nothing to be urgently done." Thank you for sharing that slacker quote. Perhaps we can all learn something....

Best Post: Hacienda51's Blowing up the Emp (for the effort )

07-28-1999 11:10 AM

It’s time for Slacker promotions! As your leader, I feel we have grown too large to remain unorganized. Today, I appoint my fellow slackers to their appropriate positions. Tough choices, most decisions made on total number of posts (TarynS as the exception).

gundark- My Apprentice. Indeed you have grown powerful, your dedication has been most impressive. But you are the one member who may rise to defeat me. After you kill me, be sure to tell people of my story.

Jedi Soul- Another enthusiastic member. You are hereby promoted to the rank of Head Writer. We wait for you to dazzle us with your Ep2 rendition. 8/13. We can’t wait! hew- A long time slacker, one of the originals. You are promoted to the rank of Grand Moff hew. May you continue to reign slack on many an overachieving system.

TarynS- Quickly growing in power. A most valuable asset. You’re my personal Mon Mothma. You will recruit, coordinate and train all new members.

Darth XXX- What a great guy. I give you the honor of constructing the Porkin Presidential Library.

Sabe- You’re from Paris and you translate books. That makes you a protocol slacker. You will stand beside me and translate all incoming messages written in foreign tongue.

THX1204- London, huh? You are placed in command of all European slack.

Quaff-Down Gin- A basher but slacker hopeful. I would like you to be my liaison with not only the rest of this council, but with the entire Internet in general.

Shimmergloom- Able to prove any theory. Never a challenge too difficult, never a theory too impossible. For that, I promote you to the rank of “R2-D2”.

Amidala’s Suitor- Tremendous dedication to the greater good. Willing to die for the good of the slack. Only the Admiral of the Slacker Navy would be so bold.

QASM & Sandfarmer- You’re both from Atlanta. My sister lives there. You are now the Creepio Family Bodyguards.

Jabbadabbado- Continued love of the forums has kept you sane. We need more people like you. I promote you to the rank of “Head Bounty Hunter”. You will seek out members hostile to the slackers and destroy them. You are free to use any methods available.

dapper_bloke- One of the newer members. I have use for you aboard my sail barge.

Binks2- The man. Also an original slacker, from the days when TPM was only a dream. You are my chief advisor. What happens to me affects you. You are also the General of my ground forces. Prepare your men.

Arsinoe- A Canadian. You have been placed in charge of all international slacker operations in North, South & Central America.

And our minor members (who all slack to their own respectable levels): Lord Chewy, Obi Two, Antares 6, Vrian Sinth and anyone else who I’ve left out. You are the band in the cantina on Mos Eisley. Play well and keep us smiling.

Pizza the Nut- the mysterious rogue member. I’ve admired your ability to remain hidden. I promote you to the rank of Phantom Menace, wherever you are.

The old slacker promotions have faded into obsoletianity. Time for all new promotions: In no real order, here they are…

gundark- you have been a great apprentice and will continue to walk at my side

Darth Tater- Yes, you are the Emperor but for our purposes here, you are the new Grand Moff Tater

Binks2- You were the original General of my Ground forces but your dedicated has earned you a promotion. Feel free to call yourself Chancellor Binks2

Jedi TarynS- My personal Mon Mothma will retain her position as slacker recruiter but you have since become responsible for you own thread. I give you 50% ownership of the Creepio/TarynS Conglomerate, a corporation dedicated to the continued growth of forum-wide slack.

Jedi Soul- Man, what can I say…..There really are not enough words. You are one of the main reasons hype has not died. Therefore, our Head Writer is now “The Glowing Yoda”

Amidala’s Suitor- I’m not sure what’s going on with your romance with Jedi Soul but I see now problems. You were, and still are, the Admiral of the Slacker Navy. I also give you complete power over the Hoth system.

Hacienda51- One of the newer slackers whose picture is already posted on the slacker’s website. You are awarded Slacker Rookie of the Year.

rookie- Hmm…speaking of rookies. I guess that makes you Slacker Wookie of the Year.

Intrigue007- Bothan Spy. What else?

Dara Starscream- Where have you been lately? I’m not sure. I guess you can be in charge of the “Hidden Slacker’s Base”

DarthXXX- I can’t believe you’re leaving!! I realize a death mark’s not an easy thing to live with. Go pay off Jabba the Hutt, you Leader of the Slacker’s Scoundrel Order.

Obi Two- A fan of his work, am I. Sort of an unsung hero of sorts. Perhaps a title of “Wedge” will be suitable?

AmyAmeeAmi- A new face on the slacker’s forum! And a dedicated one at that. But you’re post count is not high enough yet. Therefore, you must live the next few weeks as a member of the Handmaiden’s Council.

Arsinoe- You sort of show up every now and then. I like that. Keep things interesting. Only “The Glowing Kenobi” would be so bold.

Sandfarmer- The man has survived a Thursday. Close calls. Gets away with stuff at the last second…Can you say R2-D2?

Crystena77- One of the most respected members of the entire Jedi Council. A great asset as a guardian of slack in the old forum. How do you look in Creepio’s Royal Guard attire?

Stellar- Another newer face, but a welcome one. Put a tray of drinks on your head and meet me on my sail barge.

Vrian Sinth- You were one of the newer guys awhile ago but that was awhile ago. I need a forum engineer to repair any lost ideals of slack. You are the one for the job!

ded- He’s only a blue ghost now. But he’s the cherished and rare “Glowing Anakin”

hew- A long time slacker. One of the originals. Been doing it for years. He’s like a slacker Yoda.

Son of the Suns- Hmmm, doesn’t seem to like me very much. Not here or in any other thread on this entire forum. I will call him “Forum Bonehead”.

Pizza the Nut- I love this girl! Her work has dazzled me again and again. She will retain her title of Phantom Menace- wherever she is!

dapper_bloke- Ah…the best for last. I really couldn’t believe my eyes the first time I logged onto the slacker’s website at welcome.to/swmcmmj Sweeter than Yoohoo.

Anyone I didn’t mention- Grab a weird trumpet or something and get up on stage! You’re the cantina alien band- our entertainment for the slack!